Sheila Sharpe
The Ways We Love:
A Developmental Approach to Treating Couples
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Being a psychotherapist is a lot like being a detective. In both arenas, mysteries are solved, trauma uncovered. As a therapist for thirty plus years, I’ve specialized in treating trauma, couples, and artists. In my first book, The Ways We Love (Guilford Press, 2000), I explore how love relationships develop, why they fail, and how couples can regain intimacy. While writing a thriller might seem like a marked departure from that earlier professional book, the two works share common themes: overcoming trauma, identity conflicts, and intimacy fears. Therapy sessions can feel like scenes from a thriller. When a client reveals an old trauma or dark secret, I’m often on the edge of my seat​.
Now published in Russian
"This groundbreaking book graphically illustrates, from a developmental perspective, the manifold ways partners express their relational pain."
-James L. Framo, PhD, legendary psychologist, author, and pioneer family therapist.
"This book demonstates that Sharpe is among the most creative and astute couples therapists of our era."
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-Judith Siegel, PhD, Ehrenkranz School of Social Work, New York University
"This engaging, nourishing text offers a well-balanced meal for clinicians and couples... Countering a trend toward over-simplification in the field, Sharpe appreciates complexity."
-Robert Winer, MD, The Washington School of Psychiatry
Professional Articles:
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•Sharpe, S.A. (1990). "The Oppositional Couple". In R.A. Nemiroff & C.A. Colarusso (Eds.), New dimensions in adult development (pp. 386-415). New York: Basic Books.
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•Sharpe, S.A. (1981) "The Symbiotic Marriage: A diagnostic profile". Bulletin of the Menninger Clinic, 45, 89-114.
"The Analyst" (featuring Mickey)
This short video stars my dog, Mickey, in the role of the psychoanalyst with me co-staring as the patient. The role-reversal idea comes from the fact that Mickey is an empath. He’s usually the first to comfort anyone in the family who’s hurting. His breed—Coton de Tulear--is known for this empathic quality. But how would he handle the formality of a therapy session?
A very short video by Colin Sharpe